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Joke of the Day
"Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought."
Next Joke
"I wanted to do some light history reading this summer... ...so I read the biography of Thomas Edison."
"The Unemployed Engineer"
"My phone just autocorrected ""Haha"" to ""Jaja"" so I guess I'm Mexican now."
"Son, I haven't slept at all in the past 10 days! Son: Why not? Dad: Because I sleep at night."
"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."
"*watching husband sleep* Me: ""I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"" *husband snores* Me: ""I can't live like this."""
"Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time? They're way too into Stalin"
"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."
"Wife: He makes puns all the time Therapist: You should punish him Husband: But every punishment to be different"