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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a seafood-eating California motorcycle cop who only pulls over nuclear reactions or a radioactive decay? Fission Chips."

"Why did the tree go to jail? Treason"

"The fact that we don't use towels to dry towels makes me question the value of towels."

"What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that"

"Certain people have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves But I don't like to point fingers"

"Is my ambition to be a plumber just a pipe dream?"

"What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo"

"I'm learning how to play the neurotic guitar. It's a lot like an acoustic guitar but it's a little more high strung."

"I've started picking up dudes by walking into Starbucks and ""accidentally"" dropping my recipe for bacon tacos."

"What's all this talk about Reddit's servers being down? Guess I can't see what everyone else sees."