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Joke of the Day

"To be used as an insult or a pick up line for a heavy set woman- ""You don't need to lose weight, you need to gain bone."""

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"I really hate it when People punchup the fuckline"
"Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you."
"Why is Six afraid of Seven Because Seven is a Six offender."
"I went into a vegan slaughterhouse. Man, there was juice eveywhere!"
"Went to my uncle's funeral today open bar pretty good food but my uncle was dead 3/5 stars"
"I ordered the kit ""Make your wife beautiful"" And they sent me two bottles of Jagermeister."
"TIL Steve Irwin's official cause of death was ""onset of fever"" https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fever"
"What do you call it when you build a second portal on minecraft? Anether(another) Nether"
"A mate of mine held up a sign that said 'BNAG'... I said, ""That's bang out of order!"""