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Joke of the Day

"what was Joan of Arc's hidden talent? She could really cook."

"Did you know it's impossible to piss your pants on purpose? It's a weird biological thing"

"Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad? Are you kidding? She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like?"

"Bucks vs. Falcons REPORTER: Lovie, can you say something about your team's execution tonight? LOVIE SMITH: I think it would be a good idea!"

"Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer. Time to update my display to 4K."

"A man runs home after winning the lottery ""Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"" ""Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"" ""I don't care, just get out!"""

"What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit? He chicken tendered his resignation."

"""I"" before ""E"", except after ""C"". That's an efficient rule. Very efficient. Yep...efficient."

"If your bathroom mirror doesn't look like a Jackson Pollock painting, you're not flossing right."

"I still think my biggest regret is asking a girl out, and replying ""me too"" after she told me she had a boyfriend"