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Joke of the Day

"There's a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. For example, some people like when there's pulp in their orange juice."

"""fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u"" - a goldfish :("

"what's the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal makes your hole weak."

"What do you call a hot fruit? A LAVA-Cado!"

"Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking."

"How do you castrate a priest? Kick the alter boy in the jaw"

"""Do you have any children?"" Hannibal: ""Freezer. Bottom, right."""

"""What's that?"" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* ""WTH!?!"""

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy... ""What are we waiting for?"" the doctor asks. ""Patients, Doctor,"" replied the nurse. ""Patients."""