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Joke of the Day

"What did the hipster say... ...when he was told to get off the couch? ""Nah-imma-stay"""

"It's my birthday tomorrow - in lieu of charitable donations, please send gifts."

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you fuckin racist."

"When I see couples madly in love, I just assume they met yesterday."

"Why Can't You Play UNO With Mexicans? They keep stealing the goddamn green cards."

"English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though."

"Did you here about the IKEA corporation getting away with having that guy killed? None of the detectives could seem to piece the clues together."

"We really need to stop with the cute names for devastating storms. Winter Storm Voldemort would be taken much more seriously."

"Hate being a funeral director ""why'd u take the job?"" I inherited it from my dad ""You could've just declined it"" And lose my first customer?"

"A car was blown off an overpass during a recent storm. 255 People were arrested."