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Joke of the Day

"My 5 year old hasn't said a word in the car after I convinced him that the volume control on our stereo ejects his car seat."

"A three-legged dog walks into a bar. ""I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw"""

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner? Lettuce, pray."

"70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance."

"How long does it take a Mexican to build a.... And he's done."

"What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay? My zipper"

"What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline"

"my life is all about getting strong and powerful and then marching on down to hell to challenge satan for the throne"

"God... Two goldfish are swimming around their bowl. One asks the other, ""Here - do you believe in God?"" The other one says, ""Of course I do! Who you think changes the water in our bowl?"""

"Told my doctor I wanted him to check my prostate without lube He put both his hands on my shoulders and went to town"