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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I think I'm buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they're just REGULAR donuts."

"What's brown and rhymes with 'snoop?' Dr. Dre"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth.... and vagina? Only SOME of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded!"

"My sister dropped her daughter at a nightclub last night. She said the drinking and dancing brought the labor on."

"me: ""why was she called the little mermaid, she was 5ft7?"" therapist: ""i meant anything bothering you about your marriage keith"""

"My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism."

"I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch."

"Break-up if you can't be faithful. Stay faithful or stay single."

"Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: I have a boyfriend."

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Dont talk to the middle leg he is a dick."