46270

Joke of the Day

"What do oranges, and Jews have in common? They both hate concentration camps."

"[date] Clark Kent: I propose a toast *they take their glasses off the table* Lois Lane: omg it's Supertable!"

"Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)"

"My friend David lost his ID... Now we just call him Dav."

"Drops empty vodka bottles in all the neighbor's recycling bins. So the garbage men don't think it's just me."

"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."

"I had a cold so I stopped by the drug store. I asked for some vitamin C. The Spanish pharmacist said ""Si'"" I said ""Yes, C"" And that is how the fight got started."

"Last night I had a dream I was a muffler... And woke up exhausted"

"I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out."

"[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony"