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Joke of the Day

"I want to grab some Mexican tonight and then maybe have some dinner with him"

"[magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half"

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now"

"My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the ""Pedalphiles"" was not well-received AT ALL."

"My girlfriend got a sex change. I'm not crazy about it but she's happy as Larry"

"Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get ""punch"" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*"

"How did the girlfriend satisfy her secretly gay boyfriend? I don't know, I guess she really had him pegged."

"My dentist and orthodontist have the same name... Isn't that coinci*dental*?"

"My friend's been dating Tim Howard She told me he's a keeper."

"Heard this gem in the video game L.A. Noire. Three blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have saw it."