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Joke of the Day

"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... ""Come here Stay! Come here Stay!"" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd."

"Donuts are made from flour. Flour is made from wheat. Wheat is a plant. Plants are vegetables. Donuts are a vegetable."

"My doctor said I have high cholesterol Because my dick is too fat"

"How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome"

"Why do green beans meditate? To find inner peas!"

"Why do black men only have nightmares? Because the last black man to have a dream got shot."

"Why did the cave hate miners? They're always picking on him."

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""

"DM: This person is writing offensive posts about you. ME: Oh cool, you follow my wife! Tell her I said hi!"

"What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine? If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks."