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Joke of the Day

"What does a teenage southern girl say while having sex? Get off me Daddy! You're crushing my cigarettes!"

"Wet wipes are tissues who like to party."

"*donates my body to science* Science: no thank you"

"Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler walks into a bar He orders a beer"

"How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? He farts"

"""Hey guys, I just lost at the Golden Globes!"" - Louis CK, brilliantly introducing himself tonight."

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"what do ducks and pseudo-science have in common? it's all just a bunch of quackery."

"The sausage principle. If you like something, never find out how it's made."

"A pair of identical twins... ... on opposite banks of a river. One says ""I wish I was on that side of the river."" The other replies ""You are."""