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Joke of the Day

"MAGICIAN: think of a card! ME: ok. MAGICIAN: is... this ur card? [holds up card that says ""UGH I HATE MAGIC SHOWS THIS IS CRAP""] ME: holy crap"

Next Joke
 
"are you a broken air freshener Because you aren't making any scents"
"I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen"
"What do hipster jokes and hipsters have in common? None of them are original."
"I ate an optimist once.. but I couldn't keep him down!"
"What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity? Beyonsleigh"
"""I'm so lucky to have you.""--- Me to my hand. No, it's not what you think. I just watched Hook."
"*braids your voodoo doll's hair Me: HAHAHAHA! She will wake up and be like ""who braided my hair"" HAHAHAHA"
"And God said, ""Let there be light""... ..and American beer turned into water. And it was bad."
"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally."