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Joke of the Day

"I don't gossip because: 1. It's not my business. 2. I'm no better than anyone else. 3. And no one tells me any good juicy stuff :("

"Due tomorrow, do tomorrow."

"Are you a magician?? Because you're making my penis levitate."

"Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns."

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is antonym ME: synonym JUDGE: no you have to spell it, not give an example ME: *lips on mic* i-t"

"What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1"

"What do Gingers and Extinct Dinosaurs have in common? Not enough"""

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice!"

"Me: ""OMG, my abs are so sore!"" 12: (sarcastically) ""What abs?"" Me: ""The abs hiding under this protective layer of you're grounded."""

"Teacher: What is Ba + Na2? Pupil: Banana."