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Joke of the Day

"Why do Call of Duty players hate Lee Harvey Oswald? Oh come on, the man is a stupid camping hardscoper!"

"Man at the bar... ""...Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy! Woman responds: ""No, I'm Finnish. Finnished with this conversation!"""""

"Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president? So women don't get elected."

"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!"

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when they are hit with an axe multiple times."

"shows up late for first day of new job *blames it on rush hour* shows up late for second day of new job *blames it on rush hour 2*"

"You know who brings a knife to a gun fight? Cannibals. And also a fork."

"Thanks for explaining the word many to me. It means a lot."

"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."