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Joke of the Day

"Don't judge me because I like 80's music. Judge me because I had a late term abortion because a baby would ruin my holiday plans."

"How do you troll an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask which period it's from."

"What is a black's favorite letter? The one with the welfare check in it."

"mmmm This chocolate speaks my language. Or it would, if it weren't being eaten. So. I guess it's probably horrified-screaming my language."

"What do you call an old person from Portugal? A portugeeser"

"I was going to make a subreddit about middle children today, But then I realised everyone would just forget about it."

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"What's the best part of a woman? between 18 and 24 yrs"

"I had sex with a campfire. It was hot."

"Stuck in my first infinite loop: two Canadians saying sorry to one another."