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Joke of the Day
"Why was the cake lonely? Because he was deserted by his friends"
Next Joke
"Condoms A man walks into a shop to buy some condoms. The cashier asks 'would you like a bag with that?' To which the man replies 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'."
"My wife and I only smoke cigarettes after sex I've had the same pack since we were married but she's up to three packs a day! (Thanks, Rodney!)"
"I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused."
"My friend asked me for some inspiration for a Halloween costume. Apparently ""The Emperor's New Clothes"" was a bad idea."
"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"
"[Speaking at funeral] We made it guys it's Friday"
"How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach? It's not hard.."
"Sunday. Fun day. One day. Done day. Monday. Fuck."
"What's worse than having your car impounded by the police? Impounding your mother"