45636

Joke of the Day

"i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on 0 and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid"

"*gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER."

"I just set Twitter to post to Facebook, and Facebook to tweet to Twitter... So the internet should explode any minute now."

"Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work? He was expecting showers."

"How do you disappoint a Redditor? [deleted]"

"How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing."

"Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called ""Murderer"" in this thing"

"My Girlfriend is always covered in bruises because she doesn't listen.. I'm always like ""You're about to run into that lamp!"""

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She threw away all of the W's."

"Did you gu[FLASH AD]ys read that ar[ROLLOVER FLASH AD]ticle on Wi[FLASHING FLASH AD]red on how the iPad really need[MOVING FLASH AD]s Flash?"