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Joke of the Day

"i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on 0 and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid"

"Want to hear a joke? Bacontaco"

"It's been a brutal heatwave with no respite, but things will finally cool off tomorrow and rain. I can't wait to complain about that."

"A Reddit mod deleting their account during controversy and creating a new one is like... the Reddit CEO"

"Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead"

"Did you hear about that Mexican train thief? They say he had loco motives."

"The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils."

"If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious."

"What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party."

"A cactus as a houseplant is a good way to let people know that you've killed every other living thing that you've ever been responsible for."