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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy with two wooden legs who's house burnt down? He fell on his ash."
Next Joke
"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""
"Judge: I find him... not guilty *Tom Brady breathes a sigh of relief* Cop: *cuffing him* So that's where the air was, huh? We finally gotcha"
"What is Micheal Bay's favorite phone? The Galaxy note 7"
"What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself."
"The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet."
"*Buys new iPhone* *Crosses road tweeting about it* *Accident* *Dies* *Makes entry in heaven* - Sent via iPhone."
"Michael Jackson has left behind has been so influential... ...but I think more than any other artist, his legacy has been influenced by his coloured past."
"I started a band called 999 megabytes We still haven't gotten a gig"