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Joke of the Day

"As a priest finishes paying for his hotel room, he says to the cashier: ""And can you make sure the porn in my room is disabled?"" Cashier: ""right you are, you filthy bastard!"""

"Lava can't melt marble columns. Pompeii was an inside job! WAKE UP ROME!"

"I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other."

"Sometimes I'll order a pizza without any toppings... When I'm feeling saucy."

"So Kim Jong Un helps a little girl's starving family Oops I put the punchline in the title"

"Whichever part of my body is responsible for burning fat needs to stop procrastinating."

"What instant coffee and Sasha Grey have in common? 3 in 1"

"My old dog What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing. He wont come when you call."

"If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids."

"How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting? I (*commercial break*) can't (*commercial break*) understand (*commercial break*) your accent (*commercial break*)."