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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the party thief? I mean I've seen some crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake."

"I walk around with mentos in my ears so everyone thinks I have an iphone 7."

"I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something."

"The NFL these days Hide yo kids, hide yo wife"

"I called a rape advice line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"What is a french bakers lifestyle like? Its a life of pain"

"Being irrational is as easy as Pi."

"I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house."

"I'm not afraid of death, so much as I am of dying! I wanna die how my father died, peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming terrified passengers! *Gotham, Mondays on Fox*"

"Two cows are standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, ""Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"" The other one looks at him and says, ""Good thing I'm a helicopter."""