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Joke of the Day

"and now for my next trick, i will saw a women in half. for this i need a volunteer. how about...MY EX WIFE SANDRA WOW I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE"

"What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling? He likes it dirty."

"I made this joke up. Man 1: Hey, I haven't seen you in a few days. What's up? Man 2: Oh, I went pearl diving in Ming Chao. Man 1: Oh? Where's Ming Chao? Man 2: She's getting dressed."

"As I waved my gun in their faces, I thought to myself ""What kinda weird bank has children, clowns, presents, & balloons all over the place?"""

"What do French people call a bad Thursday? A trajeudi. I'll escort myself out now....."

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"You know what they say about duct tape... It makes no..no..no sound like mh..mh..mh Credit to my coworker for that one."

"Man's wife was gone from home all day When she finally came back late in the day, her husband asked ""Where'v you been all day?"" ""At the beauty salon"" ""Were they closed!?"""

"I got a nice Rolex from the lesbian couple next door after they asked me what I wanted for my birthday. It's a cool gift and all, but I think they misunderstood me when I told them I wanna watch."

"Why is it that when a woman sleeps with a bunch of men, she is a slut? But when I do it, suddenly I am gay?"