45102

Joke of the Day

"My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank."

"I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before"

"The Indian food market My buddy asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him at the new Indian food market and I said namaste (nah... ima stay)"

"What's the difference between shaving a red head's pubes and diffusing a bomb? When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire."

"AC changed bail to basil, and now I'm sitting in jail with some lovely herbs."

"If you're a copyright attorney and your slogan isn't ""Carpe TM,"" go fuck yourself."

"Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic."

"Bill Gates How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb? He buys a new house."

"Women used to always call me ugly, until they find out how much money I make. Now they call me ugly and poor."

"The urgent care center in town was torn down... ...it was clinically depressed"