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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team? Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"Ted Cruz getting elected."

"Started playing with the self-retracting cord on my vacuum to find out how much weight it can pull; long story short, I'm Batman now."

"Yesterday I avoided a rape of a woman - And how you did it? - I convinced her."

"Just so you know, people who don't give a fuck don't talk about how much they don't give a fuck all the fucking time."

"What did the lower case ""o"" say to the capital ""O""? You whore."

"How do you make a rave party in Africa? You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling."

"Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier... if my wardrobe wasn't so fabulous!"

"What's pale, lives in darkness and sucks blood? A tampon"

"Don't be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I'm saying."