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Joke of the Day
"What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."
Next Joke
"Bruce Willis on a jetski, being pursued by a pug on a smaller jetski"
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."
"What qualifies as a ""short stack"" of pancakes? I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right? Yes? Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack."
"My wife's late for work because I unplugged her alarm so I could charge my phone. She's mad, but at least I can tell you guys about it."
"A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, ""How does the chef prepare the chicken?"" The waiter replies, ""He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"""
"HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, It's the year of the snake !!! I'm still keep accidentally writing Dragon on all my checks."
"Underwear... Because every present needs to be wrapped."
"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"
"If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one."