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Joke of the Day
"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? Some asshole has my pen!"
Next Joke
"Donald Trump..."
"Did you guys know that my son is a really big star? Yup, he's 1.989 x 10^30 kilos and has a diameter of 1.4 million kilometers."
"So I met this really nice girl at the zoo! She was a keeper."
"Saw a guy riding a unicycle today. Actually, he was riding a bicycle but I didn't see him & I hit him with my car. Then boom! Unicycle."
"What do you call a skinny feminist... Photoshopped"
"From the pilot during his welcome message: ""We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."
"A girlfriend of mine was a psychic ... we broke up before we met."
"NOW THAT is a great looking tie! just. WOW. I mean, SHIT, that's nice! seriously, that tie is fucking PERFECT! ... I ran over your kid."
"Q: What do you call a dead magician's assistant? A: An abracadaver."