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Joke of the Day

"Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a ""violent"" stabbing incident? Is it possible to stab someone non-violently?"

"What do you call a gay Mexican couple that just won the lottery? Juan in Emiliano"

"year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again"

"SIRI, CALL FOR HELP! Searching for kelp. OMGYOU IDIOT! SIRI, GET AN AMBULANCE! There are 23 listings for lap dance in your area."

"What bone will a dog never eat a trombone"

"I'm bored I think I'll go to the mall, find a really good parking spot and sit there with my reverse lights on."

"Geologists look for the same thing in rocks and girls Cleavage"

"Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns? To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."

"Never discuss with your wife... ...because all you do is 'diss' and 'cuss'"

"You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver is on."