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Joke of the Day

"You know before Facebook, I use to call up 435 friends of mine everyday... just to tell them how much I hate my work and how much I love getting stoned.'"

"I texted my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, say it sarcastically."

"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide"

"What does having sex with me and the holocaust have in common? There are people who still deny it ever happened."

"What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home? Echo-location, location, location (Replace ""bat"" with ""zubat"" if you wish.)"

"My first sex was like 100m dash... ... with 8 black men and a gun."

"So I told my friend a joke about embroidery the other day... and the punchline had him in stitches!"

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

"""Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?"" - Karen"