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Joke of the Day

"friend gave me an inhaler my friend was dying on the floor and he gave me an inhaler, guess he wanted to give something for me to remember him. weird."

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"Never trust a person with 2 anuses Because they're biassed"

"The difference between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee? Why does Chuck Norris have a lot of jokes but Bruce Lee doesn't? Because Bruce Lee is no joke..."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great service but no atmosphere."

"What's gray and comes in quarts? Elephants"

"the year is 2042. a man is fired for doing ""the robot"" in a mixed crowd of humans and androids at the company xmas party."

"A pedophile, a necrophiliac, a pyromaniac, and a zoophile walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out."""

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"I admire male porn stars... They're always hard working"