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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? You didn't hear? It made headlines!"

"I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test"

"So I got a text from a guy. He said he lives across the street and would like to get to know me. I answered that I live in front of a cemetery and those kind of acquaintances scare the shit out of me."

"""Hello, 912"" wait did u say 912? ""yup"" I meant to dial 911 ""happens all the time"" lol I'm such a goof ""haha right?"" my neighbor got stabbed"

"What is a Ninja's favorite beverage? Karatea From Fargo Ep. 2"

"What do Led Zeppelin and New Orleans have in common ""When the Levi breaks, we have no place to stay"""

"I hate going left Because it's just not right."

"Can you tell me a joke existential in nature?"

"What did the horny toad say when designing a sex toy? Ribbit *Credit goes to Brian, random guy sitting next to me on couch."

"My girlfriend just walked in and called me g@y. If my nails weren't drying I swear to God..."