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Joke of the Day

"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."

"Don't worry, husbands. If something should happen to you, your wife already has the next one lined up."

"Poor handicapped guy on the train forgot to put the breaks on his wheel chair. It was like watching the Pinball Wizard."

"I'd don't know if this qualifies as a super power, but I'm 100% accurate at finding cat vom in the dark with my bare feet."

"A New Word For Your Vocabulary Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2012 election year."

"What is afraid of pussy? Mice, what else?"

"Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right"

"I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent."

"I saw a rabbi blessing food while golfing. I mentioned that it seemed strange, but he told me it's parve for the course."

"How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb? None - because they would all be replaced by white actors."