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Joke of the Day

"I hate being the walking dead. I wish I could be the driving dead. Even the bus riding dead would do."

"How are people from Kentucky like flour? They're inbred."

"[on phone] ""Press 1 if you're a huge nerd"" ""Press 2 if you're a virgin"" ""Press 3 if y-"" STOP TALKING, DAD! I'm trying to call Xbox support"

"What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time..."

"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."

"How to play a pokemon game Buy a $250 Pokemon machine ( 3DS )"

"How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb? It's independent of population size."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because oxygen is free."

"Ellen Pao stole my bike Who else could it have been"

"ANOTHER CHICKEN, ANOTHER ROAD Q: Why did the stoner cross the road? A: Who else would follow a chicken?"