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Joke of the Day

"Microsoft will start making ... vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck."

"Ppl at Starbucks are weird. They love it when I bring our chihuahua in a little baby stroller, but get all freaked out when I let him nurse."

"Hello this is ur pilot speaking We almost began our descent but my copilot said ""turn down for what"" so looks like we r rerouting to Cancun"

"What type of overalls did Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles."

"Life is like a game of chess The whites have the advantage"

"Do you ever have the urge to eat something right in front of you? Anyways, that's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist..."

"Did you hear about that story about the kid, that brought in a clock to school? It has really blown up in the news."

"What instrument does God play? He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: ""Our God is a cellist God."""

"Three hunters come across some tracks in the middle of the woods... The first hunter says its wolf tracks the second says its bear tracks the third was hit by a trian"