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Joke of the Day

"Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally."

"*sees guy dressed as ghost for Halloween* Hey buddy thats not funny, my grandma is a ghost"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ali ! Ali who ? Ali-luyah at last you've opened the door !"

"What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show? A magic show is full of **cunning stunts**"

"Dad said he met my stepmom outside a strip club... ""But Dad, you said you met her on a golf course!"" ""Exactly. We weren't inside a strip club."""

"Aliens: ""Take us to your leader"" ""No"" ""What"" ""Look we've made some mistakes"" ""Just take..."" ""It's been a weird year, half of us are morons"""

"Bernie supporters voting for Trump isn't like drinking bleach, its like drinking castor oil... we know its going to be awful, but we have something we *really* need to get rid of."

"Women are like magnets... I have no clue how they work."

"Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked."