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Joke of the Day

"A guy calls his local butchery... - Do you have chicken paws? - Yes - Do you have chicken wings? - Yes, I do - Do you have pig's head? - Sure - You must look really funny then"

"Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck"

"As advertised I opened a can of evaporated milk today. It was empty."

"Just remember, if you're attractive and they're ugly, it's not sexual harassment. You're giving them a compliment."

"What is the oldest red wine? ""They took our Land!"""

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office Just know that I will find you. You have my Word."

"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."

"A haunted house where they make you look at your checking account balance."

"phones are so much more than just phones nowadays, like they can also be napkins, or paper towels, or tiny depression machines, or napkins"

"I hate when people ask where I think I'll be in five years I don't have 2020 vision."