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Joke of the Day

"I wanna stand next to a bum with my own sign that says ""my hair has no volume today & I can't find the microfiber cloth for my $160 Oakleys"""

"As a commercial livestock hauler I've delivered quite a few donkeys in my time I suppose you could say my clients get their ass handed to them"

"A boy asks his father The difference between up and down. His Father says 'You don't have up syndrome'."

"How do you keep a moron in suspense for 24 hours? I'll post the answer tomorrow."

"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"

"How are lawyers and apples similar? They both look good hanging from a tree"

"YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist"

"If people had to spell something correctly before being allowed to criticize it, the internet would be a much more peaceful place."

"It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous."

"I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients. It's called ""Shake & Bake""."