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Joke of the Day

"What do a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them."

"""Stressed"" backwards is ""desserts"" so chill and have that cupcake."

"I saw Santa Claus having sex with my mom. To get him back, I poisoned his cookies. Some how the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"Hey, is your computer running? Well, you better go catch it!"

"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."

"Why won't Malia and Sasha Obama's classmates gossip about them? Because they know their father can read their emails."

"I just found out that people can still read words when they're in parentheses and holy shit do I have a bunch of apologies to write."

"What country has the highest concentration of pool players? Irack."

"Do what you love and you'll never work a day of your life... Thats why I got a degree in gender studies"

"Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok."