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Joke of the Day

"Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam? When the commander yelled ""GET DOWN"", they all started dancing."

"What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden engine? It wooden go"

"Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria's secret around the house"

"I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door."

"""Well gentlemen... the steaks are high."" *two steaks giggle* ""Hehehe omfg he totally knows, man..."""

"Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy."

"Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way."

"Started playing with the self-retracting cord on my vacuum to find out how much weight it can pull; long story short, I'm Batman now."

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers."