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Joke of the Day

"retweet if a walrus named jamaal got you pregnant then wouldn't pay child support so you had to take him to Maury"

"Don't buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone... and I am still asian."

"Kim Kardarshian says she wants more babies so.. So Kim Kardarshian says she wants more babies ? Apparently their family will be like a complete compass. East, West, NORTH, South."

"What's the most confusing day in Harlem?? Father's Day."

"There's only two things I hate... Size queens and small dicks."

"What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope? A cantelope."

"I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out ""be careful!"" every few minutes without looking up from my phone."

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane? I'm asking for an imaginary friend."

"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Fuck that. It's the nurse's job."