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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out ""be careful!"" every few minutes without looking up from my phone."

"What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant? This guy"

"I got a 0 on my computers test. a 01000001"

"I had sex with somebody and caught their cold. I have snyphilis."

"Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?"

"Trump and a mate were getting drinks at a bar..... After a few drinks..... Trump: What is the useless skin around a woman's pussy? Mate: I have no idea. Trump (with a smirk): The rest of the woman!"

"ople who say they'd go back and change things in their life if they could are pussies, you don't get this awesome without the shitty parts"

"1 in 5 children faces hunger... So why not turn the 5th kid around?"

"What disease did the house have? Shingles."

"I got ripped off buying a tarantula from the pet shop Should have just got one off the web"