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Joke of the Day
"Me: I think you might have schizophrenia Me: No I don't"
Next Joke
 
"How do you cut down a hipster tree? A suuh dude!"
"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"
"What's the hardest part about keeping a 12 year old girl in your basement? Finding a new one next year."
"When is a door not a door? When it's a plank."
"This year I got my wife the Baking Bible for Christmas because last year I got her the Baking Quran, which really blew up in my face."
"I always get teary when I become intimate with a girl, Any idea how to deal with pepper spray?"
"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ""I want to report a nuisance caller"", he said ""Not you again"". "
"My girlfriend just told me to get rid of my boner... I couldn't because it's hard."
"What's black, white, and red all over? A dying nun."