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Joke of the Day

"It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution You're just comparing apples and origins"

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol"

"To Dig. I dig. We dig. He dig. She dig. They dig. It's not a very beautiful poem, but it's very deep!"

"If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell ""My eyes!"" BEFORE she starts changing"

"Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down"

"What do teachers drink at school? Facul-tea"

"I like my coffee like I like my women Iced cold and milky white"

"Oh, you're straight? Well, so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet."

"Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help."

"I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot..."