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Joke of the Day
"Girlfriend: ""What's senior year without a little slacking?"" Me: ""Junior year."""
Next Joke
"Why do elephants drink so much? To try to forget!"
"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass.......... The doctor described his condition as stable."
"He told me he was uncomfortable dating someone with so much inflatable furniture."
"Julius Caesar goes into a bar... ... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks, ""Do you mean a martini?"" ""No. Just one, please."""
"*on the subway* CUTE GUY: [mouths ""hi""] PRETTY GIRL: [mouths ""hi"" back] ME, IN BETWEEN THEM: [exaggeratedly mouths ""YOU GUYS LIKE HOTDOGS""]"
"what idiot called it a moon enthusiast and not a lunatic"
"I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like ""Oh she's cool she's one of us."""
"I got you a paracetamol, I said ""I got you a paracetamol"", I said. ""But I don't have a headache"", she replied. ""Good, then let's fuck""."
"And the Oscar goes to... Jail."