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Joke of the Day

"If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""pneumonia"". ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints."

"Asian drivers are so bad that some speculate that Pearl Harbor might have been an accident"

"I'm long, brown, and I love bowls. Jimi Hendrix."

"Being autistic is a bit like being a photon... Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible. (source: am autistic)"

"Why are females so moody when they're on their period? It's an ovary action."

"[Arby's] BRO [jumping into car]: GO ME: it's lunch, not a bank heist B: they put EXTRA CURLY FRIES in the bag M: OMG I'm too pretty for jail"

"A stormtrooper just got sent to the firing squad. He will be missed."

"""War and Peace 2: Woody Saves Buzz"" (Tolstory)"

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic? When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger."