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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""pneumonia"". ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints."

"A man runs out of a forest and into a bar, yelling: the squirrels are after me, they think I'm nuts!"

"What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"my revisionist Snakes on a Plane movie is just some snakes going on vacation and having an awesome time"

"What is the name of the charity organization that kills 90% of all of its ""rescues""? Make a Wish Foundation"

"What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail."

"What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head? Sir."

"People who say ""Money doesn't grow on trees"" don't understand the paper making process."

"Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: ""Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"""

"What is the most overused force in science? Van der Waals."