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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes president, he'll increase taxes, he'll increase borders... And the population of Canada."

"13: Dad, What's detour mean? Me: Get a dictionary and look up tampon."

"My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them."

"This election cycle makes me want to find a bar really badly... Do any 21st amendment people know where I can get a drink around here?"

"Lucky that guy in Good Will Hunting liked apples."

"Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers? Putin on the Ritz~"

"You have to keep changing your clocks for daylight savings Aint nobody got time fo dat shit but apparently errybody got time fo dat shit."

"Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac? They take things literally."

"I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted."