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Joke of the Day

"John met god and God said ""John come forth and you will receive eternal light"" sadly John came fifth and won a toaster"

"I'll never forget the cooking time for my supermarket brand spaghetti... 9-11 minutes"

"What is the the Chicken's favorite composer? bach bach bach time to return to /r/TIL"

"Why don't golddiggers eat fruit? An apple a day keeps the doctors away"

"Me: Hello Teacher: Hello M: How's my kid doing in school? T: How's my kid doing in school? I hate parrot teacher conferences"

"Superman is depressed because he has to change in dirty gas station bathrooms since the telephone booth is now extinct. Poor Superman."

"Why did god give women legs? Have you ever seen that trail a slug leaves behind?"

"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."

"New Years Resolutions I've decided on a few attainable resolutions... * put on some weight * exercise less * watch some TV, play some computer games * procrastinate (maybe I'll do that later)"

"funny Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all."