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Joke of the Day

"What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?? Cancer"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar . . . A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender: Ya know, we have a drink named after you! Grasshopper: You have a drink named Steve?"

"An Asian man's wife died He couldn't bereave it."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and it's always down the chimney."

"Tough Monday, guys. Had to fire Guadalupe for putting two left-footed socks together. Heavy heart because she basically raised me."

"Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony."

"This guy next to me says my cigarette smoke is bothering him. I'm like: Well, it's killing me and I'm not bitching about it."

"What's the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising my goats."

"Reasons to jump: 1. Trampoline 2. Skydiving 3. Bungee jumping 4. Kris Kross made you"

"bungee jumping A kid walks up to his mom and asks, Mom, can I go bungee jumping? The mom says No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"