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Joke of the Day

"There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life... ...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college."

"Kid: Just bought a chicken, a bar, a door with no doorbell and a doctors surgery Man: Where did you buy all that junk? Kid: At the Joke shop."

"What's the worst thing you can call a black person?.. Hint: starts with an N and ends with an R Neighbor"

"Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage."

"Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary? Because, it isn't mainstream."

"""I < 3 You"" means I'm smaller than 3 of you."

"Man: Lima is a capital city in South America. Woman: Peru-ve it!"

"Every time I see my grandad he tells me the same joke. Grandad - How's Harry? Me - Harry Who? Grandad - I'm fine thanks, how are you?"

"Why did the punk cross the road. He was stapled to the chicken."

"Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail. JK It was me."