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Joke of the Day
"You know what they say about cliffhangers ..."
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"[school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? ""Abolishing slavery."" And... ""Slaying vampires."" Very good."
"Gonna start a matchmaking site for very old people called Carbon Dating"
"Realized it was time to seek help for my Twitter addiction after I opened a carton of eggs and said ""Oh look, 12 new followers!"""
"Sex while camping... Is fucking in tents."
"If you can take my girl, then you can have her. If I can take your girl, then you can have her too."
"What did O say to Q? Ya dick is hangin out."
"An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfit fanatic walk into a bar... Who talks more?"
"What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup."
"Are you single too? Don't worry, you're not alone. Actually, I guess you are."